James Z.
Yelp
Worst Restaurant - Bad Choice - Bad Service, Noisy, Third Rate Food.
From beginning to end, "El Cilantrillo - Florida Mall" was a sorry excuse for a restaurant. It is a lesson in how alienate customers and louse up an opportunity to make and serve edible food - all at $$ to $$$ prices.
From beginning to end, this place was a joke. It began with the trio at the front desk, who didn't bother to show us to a suitable table. Instead someone working there had their little daughter do it. How cute - a child who is learning English, taking us to our table, right next to a large, noisy party - kind of like a Chuckie Cheese dinner out; but here, the menu shows options of up to $140.00. Hmmm. No adult at the table with us. No silverware, no table service.
I know of no one who would subject a adult couple of to a situation like this, (let alone an actual table of 2 or three couples at a $140.00 joint meal price for the table. In fact, how many restaurants do you even know of that have a $140.00 line item on a menu?)
Once there we sat and sat. The seats in the booth are lumpy and uneven - Poor quality, as you'd expect from a poorly appointed restaurant, and I wouldn't call the place clean.
And there we sat and sat.
Let me just say, that when customers are seated in a restaurant, and nobody shows up to even talk to them in a timely manner, it is already a good time for the customers to get up and leave. If they don't want to adhere to these minimal standards, then why sit there; and why are they even in business?
Finally someone came by and said they'd send a waitress. So we sat longer.
And sat. Then that person (wearing a headset, like we were in a fast food joint), spoke to us. There are less expensive items on the menu, many of which I recognized from other Cuban restaurants, and we ordered - but the prices were still in the $50.00 range for two, without drinks.
Finally, the food came.
But before we could eat anything, we had to ask for silverware. Hmmm. Busboys, a Manager, other wait staff saw us sitting there. No silverware. It's ok to wait for service. It's ok to have to ask for silverware. We were patient, but what were the 8 or 10 staff members who were passing by us thinking. Wouldn't that look a little odd? Couldn't one of them take the incentive to ask what's going on?
The meals were served luke warm - almost like an after-thought - by someone, and then the Manager (?) came by to announce to us "Everything is all right." It would have been a good question, and perhaps he meant it to be a question, but when someone is speaking to me and clearly not making eye contact, - or talking into a headphone and not making eye contact - I have to wonder what the point in asking me anything might be. It sounded more like a proclamation than a question. If it's a question, wait for the answer, right?
Had they listened, I'd tell them exactly what I'm telling you now. It would probably save them and you from having to read it here on the internet. (People like me go to the internet to warn others of our experience - or when I get great food and service, I give places the highest of accolades in my reviews. I tell it like it is.)
As for the poor quality of the food, I've lived in the Caribbean and Florida for enough years to know what good Cuban food is. This is the worst "Cuban food" I've had and maybe the worst restaurant food I've ever had.
My meal tasted like a huge glob of Thanksgiving dressing with cheap chicken soup poured on it. It was slop the size of a softball, dripping down the sides of the bowl so that you couldn't eat it without making a mess. It is laughable to serve slop like this, and call Cuban food. What an insult.
The presentation itself was sloppiest I've ever seen. Added to it on top, were several bite-sized "chunks" of pork which looked like dog food, and were evidently so overcooked in deep fryer fat that they were hard to chew. I'm thinking if you order the chicken, you get the same slop with chicken on top. Or shrimp over slop, or whatever you chose as about $20.00 or more, over slop.
And how about that slop running down the sides? No spoon to eat it, (as if you'd want to), and no spoon to eat any of the other items. For some reason, I got a knife when it is obvious there's no reason to have a knife. But no spoon. I made a trip to the washroom to get the stuff off my hands.
No refill of water unless you specifically ask for it. Too much trouble on a 90 degree day to walk around a restaurant with a water pitcher?
While I was in the restroom, the Bill was left on my table. It came with an 18% tip added to it. When I offered up my credit card to pay, another Bill came, with the option to leave a tip (because the new bill included the tip); so they were inviting me to tip them for a new higher amount - a tip on the tipped amount.
This place is substandard. Save your money and go to Taco Bell and be treated better.
