"Henri is a French bistro inside Covent Garden’s Henrietta hotel, with a dining room so shiny and so stylish we’d like to live in it—but only if we had access to our own kitchen. Once you’re over the ‘candlelit ad for crushed velvet’ dining room, the food will arrive and any inkling that you could be the muse of a Robert Doisneau photograph will be replaced by the feeling that you’re actually trapped in a Stanley Kubrick film. Take the seaweed canelé—it’s a supremely beautiful creation, topped with dainty citrine trout roe, that we could stare at for three hours without complaint. But it’s also dry and predominantly tastes of sour cream. Like the pretty dining room, dishes are style over substance. Conversation will be paused to allow for the blockbuster-length chewing required for the bavette, and the mysterious green olives swamp the tenderness of the duck. video credit: Heidi Lauth Beasley photo credit: Henri photo credit: Heidi Lauth Beasley photo credit: Heidi Lauth Beasley If you find yourself on Henrietta Street and need somewhere with terracotta marble tables to sit and sip a single glass of sancerre before a show, it’ll get the job done. Especially as we’ve only ever seen it dotted with diners and stray tourists, like a casting director didn’t want to stretch for a full crowd of extras. For a special occasion, Paris-coded meal, quick-march to one of London’s other quintessential bistros instead. Food Rundown photo credit: Heidi Lauth Beasley Seaweed Canelé, Sour Cream, Trout Roe In theory, this is the ‘snack’ answer to the big, scary feelings we get when someone asks us if we prefer sweet or savoury. In practice, it’s pretty dry once you get past the sour cream and vague saltiness of the trout roe. photo credit: Heidi Lauth Beasley Grilled Snails, Green Garlic, Veal Rice The meaty, garlic flavour of this rice is so comforting and warming we’d happily schedule it in for a cosy night with our favourite jumper but its sidekick snails are far too rubbery. photo credit: Heidi Lauth Beasley Roast Duck, Blood Orange, And Green Olives The duck is lovely and tender, but the brininess of the olives and sharp zing of the blood orange feels like us trying to choose between our two conflicting personalities. photo credit: Heidi Lauth Beasley Swaledale Bavette, XO Cognac, And Wild Peppercorns One word: gristle. The fishy, salt show XO sauce is a winner though, especially when mopped up with The Dusty Knuckle baguette. photo credit: Heidi Lauth Beasley Mushroom Hollandaise A decent, slightly herbal hollandaise which arrives bubbling a la volcano. photo credit: Heidi Lauth Beasley Duck Fat Frites TGFF. Thank God For Frites. photo credit: Heidi Lauth Beasley Chocolate Sabayon Cake, Crème Fraîche It’s a bad day for the old self esteem when you feel like the centre of your dessert is trying to outrun you. Hard pass." - Heidi Lauth Beasley
