"Landing a reservation at The French Laundry is like trying to score 50-yard-line tickets at the Super Bowl—it demands persistence, a lot of luck, and there’s absolutely a black market. We hate to break it to you, but once you’ve got a table (and come to terms with the fact that a meal here starts at almost $400 per person), it's likely that this restaurant experience will underwhelm you. The meal starts strong with “Oysters and Pearls,” a sabayon of pearl tapioca, oysters, and caviar that’s one of the finest bites you might ever have. But from there, you'll be inundated with gloppy hollandaise and other rich haute cuisine hacks that should have been fazed out with the phrase haute cuisine. Unless you're coming on the corporate card or perhaps to celebrate a divorce, you're better off sticking with other places on this list. " - christina julian, andrew steinthal