"There’s a certain sense of camaraderie that comes with eating a burger in a room full of people eating burgers, and if you’ve been to Red Hook Tavern, you know what we mean. Sure, there are other things on the menu—like a wedge salad with a thick layer of bacon, and cavatelli with oxtail ragu—but they’re all supporting actors. At this saloon-like corner spot, the brightest light is a window into the kitchen, where a line of perfectly formed patties await their turn on the grill. Here, quality beef takes center stage. If you can't get behind this, or you don't eat red meat, go ahead and pick another restaurant. Otherwise consider this your official induction to the fan club. At Red Hook Tavern, everybody orders the burger and nobody shares. photo credit: Daniel Krieger photo credit: Teddy Wolff photo credit: Teddy Wolff photo credit: Daniel Krieger That burger is refreshingly simple: sesame seed bun, cheese blanket, Big Meat, and slightly sweaty onion. On the side: a crisp new pickle, and fries with ketchup. No special sauce, no caramelized onions, no option to add a fried egg. Just a purist’s patty from the team behind Hometown Bar-B-Que, best paired with a dirty martini, or a stein of beer. Beef-eaters come here wearing hats that say things like "Burger Night" to eat just that, plus a shrimp cocktail by candlelight. There’s a drinks menu where you’ll find an old-fashioned with spicy jerk bitters, but like the food menu, it’s largely ignored. That's just the Red Hook Tavern way. Once you’ve finished your burger, and feel like you couldn’t possibly eat anything else, order a small plate of rainbow cookies. They’re a delicate end to a gluttonous meal, and they were made by your bartender. Food Rundown photo credit: Daniel Krieger Shrimp Cocktail Starting a meal here with a martini and the old bay-sprinkled shrimp cocktail is good for your body, like eating three meals a day, getting eight hours of sleep a night, or warming up before you tackle a big juicy burger. photo credit: Daniel Krieger Dry-Aged Red Hook Tavern Burger If you call yourself a burger lover but really only like smashburgers drenched in a light-pink, mayo-based sauce, it's safe to say that you won't like this burger. (And also, are you really a burger lover?) There is no sauce—although you can add ketchup, or a mustard so sharp it will clear your nostrils for the foreseeable future. But the burger doesn't need sauce. It is its own sauce, in all its glistening, fatty glory. Become okay with this. The Fries The great: they come with a burger. The less great: they're not our favorite. They're cottage fries, maybe a nod to those at JG Melon, but they're not crispy enough to justify their existence. That said, we also weren't huge fans of Red Hook Tavern’s previous potatoes either—one thick wedge fry per burger—and if they're open to a potato frying advisory board, we'd volunteer immediately. photo credit: Teddy Wolff Romaine Wedge Salad Even without the monstrous slab of bacon, this is an expertly crafted salad. The bacon is just the cherry on top. Pair it with the burger and the shrimp cocktail, and you've nailed the perfect order here. Chopped Kale Salad You're going to order the wedge—we see right through you—but when you come back next time, consider the kale. It's got apples and gouda and a tart dijon vinaigrette, so it's a good balance with your impending beef, if you care about that sort of thing. photo credit: Daniel Krieger Steak Tartare Take any steak tartare you've ever had, triple the size, and you'll have the one at Red Hook Tavern. It is a ultra-mustardy heap of that same award-winning beef, covered in matchstick potatoes. If you’re here with a group, order it to share. Cavatelli It's a pasta, but the oxtail ragu still showcases what Red Hook Tavern does best. (Meat.) It should never win over the burger, but it's a great runner-up. photo credit: Daniel Krieger Rainbow Cookies You’re going to be too full for anything bigger than the rainbow cookies. Plus, they were made by your bartender, so you can eat them and pretend you live in a small town, where bartenders are also bakers, and everybody knows everybody." - Willa Moore
