"If you’ve always wondered how the 1% lives—you know, those who can afford to join elite members clubs and have boats for their boats—go to lunch at ZZ’s Club. The Japanese restaurant will immediately make you feel better about your income bracket. A membership at ZZ’s comes with a $10,000 initiation and $3,500 annual fee (per person). But they’ve recently opened lunch service to all curious plebeians with a desire to spend $42 for an average poke bowl. This restaurant is proof that exclusivity and money don’t guarantee quality. Places like ZZ’s are usually known for their ambiance, service, and hospitality. But there’s nothing special about this dining room, which has more white lattice fencing than a Nantucket summer home. And servers here forget drink orders as easily as members’ names. We couldn’t access the adjoining cigar bar, sports bar, dining room, or speakeasy. But if they’re anything like lunch service, we’re not interested. Food Rundown photo credit: Virginia Otazo Trout Roe Toast The trout roe on toast is probably the tastiest thing on the menu. But that’s literally all it is: trout roe with honey butter on toast for $35. It’s hard to mess up something so simple, but it’s even harder to justify paying that much for it. photo credit: Virginia Otazo ZZ's Bowl This $42 chirashi bowl is mostly rice, and the thin tuna slices are deceptively folded to make it look bigger than it is. Illusions of abundance are a common theme with the food here, while illusions of grandeur are just present all around. photo credit: Virginia Otazo House Burger The burger arrives on crustless toasted white bread—the way we’d imagine a spoiled 10-year-old might order it. It’s also served on an elevated wooden box, an old trick to, once again, make it look like there’s more food than there actually is. There’s nothing special about it, other than the $26 price tag. photo credit: Virginia Otazo Salmon Teriyaki Bento Box This might just be the most reasonable deal at ZZ’s—as long as you share it. There are several options, but we like the salmon teriyaki that also comes with half a salmon roll. That’s the most exciting part of the meal, which also includes miso soup, spicy cucumbers, sesame spinach, and white rice, which are there to fill you up while still turning a profit. But at least you’ll leave full." - Virginia Otazo
