"It’s probably been too long since you visited Grand Central Oyster Bar, and we get it—subjecting yourself to Grand Central Terminal without a train to catch feels wrong. But beneath the celestial ceilings, and the tourists staring up at them, this cavernous seafood spot is a true New York institution, where you should come to eat raw bivalves at least once a year. There's a dining room to the left full of people who have been ordering the catch of the day since the ’70s, and a windowless room called the saloon in the back that would be a nice place to go if you needed to hide. But we prefer the counter and oyster bar, right in the middle. They're a bit more dressed-down, and full of people who know how to do Grand Central Oyster Bar right: skip most of the menu, order dozens of oysters, and sip stiff, sloshy martinis in a place where not much has changed since 1913. photo credit: Kate Previte photo credit: Kate Previte photo credit: Kate Previte photo credit: Kate Previte The counter is first come, first served, and as soon as you're seated, a server—who might have an unironic handlebar mustache—will toss you a handful of oyster cracker packets from an industrial grade plastic tub, then ask you what you'd like. You'd like a martini, extra dirty so you can't taste the gin, and oysters. Many. Let your server decide which ones (include the Blue Points), and they'll bring you an assortment of whatever's available on a clam-shaped metal dish, with paper cups full of cocktail sauce. After over a hundred years, the servers at GCOB have it down to a science. photo credit: Kate Previte photo credit: Kate Previte photo credit: Kate Previte Around you, families of four order one dozen each. A child switches between a Shirley temple and a cup of clam chowder. A teenage couple vlogs their experience, making a very good case for oysters being aphrodisiacs. A salt-and-pepper haired man eats flounder, a group of businessmen opt for raw clams while discussing quaaludes, and a woman finishes 12 oysters in five minutes flat. (Maybe she has a train to catch.) The rest of the menu is pricey and skippable, but you won't find a crowd like this one anywhere else in New York City. So, visit that natural wine bar, and order that caviar-topped whatever, but don’t forget about Grand Central Oyster Bar. Food Rundown Dirty Martini A dirty martini here is not just a drink in a martini glass. It's a rather large martini, a sidecar, and a sidecar of olive juice—in case the dirty martini is not dirty enough. The sidecars are never on ice, so drink them quickly, and then order another. photo credit: Kate Previte Oysters An underground cave that's been open for over one hundred years doesn't sound like the best place to consume dozens of oysters, but every bivalve we’ve had here, from all over the country, has been impeccably fresh. Let your server bring you a variety of whatever they’re shucking, and then compare favorites with your dining partner. Or just yourself. We somehow wouldn't be surprised if talking to yourself was sort of common here. Just make sure you order a lot. This is the main event. Go big or go home. Clams Casino Don’t order these expecting breadcrumbs. That’s not how they do it here. Do order these expecting large pieces of bacon laid over tomato-saucy clams which are slightly too chewy, but not uncomfortably so. You don’t need to order these, but you won’t be sad if you do. New England Clam Chowder You know what clam chowder tastes like, and this clam chowder tastes exactly as you’d expect. It’s not required, but it is deeply comforting, and a good addition to a platter of cold, raw oysters. photo credit: Kate Previte Oyster Pan Roast We’d heard a lot about the oyster pan roast at Grand Central Oyster Bar—apparently prepared in a steam-jacketed kettle—but this was sort of a letdown. It’s essentially just a soup, with a few oysters drowning in it. We prefer the clam chowder. Today’s Catch There’s nothing wrong with this, except that it’s kind of boring. Why would you eat slightly overcooked fish, potatoes, and boiled veggies when you could slurp 12 oysters, drink three martinis, and then stumble to the ceiling viewing area with all the tourists and remember why you love this city so much in the first place?" - Willa Moore
