"What is a bagel but an overgrown spare tire of dough and seed, before it receives its consecration of a thick schmear of cream cheese? And nowadays, those cream cheeses come in a wild variety of flavors, including — during a recent inspection of Ess-a-Bagel’s glass refrigerated case — scallion, olive, jalapeno, herb, raisin walnut, avocado garlic, blackberry, oreo, sundried tomato, vegetable, lox, and a dozen others." - Robert Sietsema
